23 ONTARIO GRAIN FARMER JUNE /JULY 2024 ”I have found that sharing my experiences publicly can help others find healing, and it also helps me in my personal mental health journey.” While waves of grief and sadness still hit her, she has found that letting her inner circle of people know how she handles dark days has helped. Since her tendency is to isolate herself and stay quiet, Bowman’s family and friends now know to reach out and encourage conversation. She also reminds people to keep a close eye on their loved ones. “Other people often identify mental health issues before the person themself does, but pushing too hard usually ends up getting the wrong results,” Bowman says. “Be stable for that person until they’re ready to stand up on their own and be there when they’re ready to put their hand up and ask for help.” STEWART SKINNER, LISTOWEL, ONTARIO Like Bowman, Skinner has come face-toface with mental illness. He has dealt with depression and anxiety his whole life but first experienced a downward spiral in 2012. Skinner had returned home to his family’s swine operation after completing a master’s degree. He implemented a carefully planned herd expansion project, but it wasn’t long before corn prices soared and hog prices fell. The operation was in the red, and losing everything his parents had built became a real possibility. “I couldn’t sleep or communicate with loved ones as I retreated down the dark path of depression,” he explains. “My self-hate knew no bounds. I would be paralyzed in the seat of my car when I got to the barn because I was dreading actually going into the building, and I would scream at myself in the barn when I made simple errors.” One December day, he lost all hope and contemplated taking his life in the barn. Fortunately, something made him stop and call his parents. When they reacted with unconditional love, he knew he made the right decision. Thanks to his supportive family, Skinner was able to take a break from his farm responsibilities to focus on his health. He also took a trip to Kenya to work with farmers, which allowed him to slow down and rediscover happiness, he says. Skinner started talking publicly about his mental health journey in 2013. He initially blogged about his experience and was soon invited to be a guest speaker at meetings and conferences. “My personal experiences have motivated me to get involved because I know not every person is lucky enough to have the support system I have,” he says. “I have found that sharing my experiences publicly can help others find healing, and it also helps me in my personal mental health journey.” In 2015, Skinner and his wife, Jessica Kelly, purchased a sow herd from his parents and started their own business. They also grow organic crops in Bruce County. Despite the inevitable stress of building a business, the couple purposefully implemented strategies to protect their mental health. For example, Skinner doesn’t book early morning meetings because he knows sleep is important to his well-being. Since he farms full-time, he makes an effort to take regular breaks for non-farm activities, such as playing sports, going to church, and visiting friends. Unfortunately, Covid-19 limited access to recreational and social activities for a continued on page 24 STEWART SKINNER. PHOTO SUPPLIED.
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